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<title>"I'm sorry for asking" by yikesola</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27885961">"I'm sorry for asking"</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/yikesola/pseuds/yikesola'>yikesola</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>fmdin2020 [9]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>2020, Established Relationship, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 15:48:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>780</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27885961</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/yikesola/pseuds/yikesola</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>There’s still a jolt of thrill in Phil’s gut whenever he remembers that he’s going to be an uncle.<br/>A fic about babies and boundaries.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dan Howell/Phil Lester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>fmdin2020 [9]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1995946</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>102</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>"I'm sorry for asking"</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Fic Most Days in November*, Dialogue Prompt: I'm sorry for asking</p><p>*and yes december too, fight me</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There’s still a jolt of thrill in Phil’s gut whenever he remembers that he’s going to be an uncle. The world is a crowded place even if 2020 feels so isolating— and sometimes he is so focused on editing his latest video or on scheduling another Zoom meeting or on mortgage rates or on that one particular curl of Dan’s that he can’t help but reach out to tug whenever he sees. And then he’ll stop and something will remind him. And the excitement is just as potent as the day Martyn and Cornelia gave him the news. </p><p>He’s had a pseudo-uncle-y role before. Ian’s daughter and the boy that lives three flats down and tells Phil how his football games went whenever they bump into each other even though Phil doesn’t ever exactly remember asking. And also the younger members of his and Dan’s audience, in some way. Pseudo-uncle-y… kinda…</p><p>But this is just so entirely different. This is a baby he knows his brother is thrilled for. Knows his mum is ready to spoil with love. Knows this is a baby <i>he’s</i> delighted to know. A little conglomeration of two of his favourite people? They’re already so loved. </p><p>But there are also moments where Phil worries he’s maybe a little too… well, <i>Phil</i> to be a proper uncle. </p><p>Like he’s only just stopped killing houseplants, and even so his merch line would beg to differ. </p><p>And sure, he’s kept a shared fish and a feral pigeon alive. </p><p>But a human baby is tangibly terrifyingly different! </p><p>And he knows that he won’t be doing the actual raising. He knows that being an uncle is going to more or less be about visits where he buys the kid sweets and teaches them annoying earworm songs and then sends them home for Martyn and Corn to salvage. Yet there’s still the fear that’s been in his head all his life, that fear he vocalized when his dad kept buying him tools and he said sardonically, “I don’t think my dad understands that I will never be able to fix things, only break them.” And that fear has him on edge about whether or not he’ll be a good uncle to a baby which isn’t even born yet.</p><p>Which means that while on their biweekly video chat, while Dan and Corn are going back and forth about that old trend of playing classical music through headphones placed on the pregnant belly, Phil let’s his mind wander to things he can talk about during his upcoming Stereo liveshow with Louise. His mind goes to the last collab he had with Louise, a shocking number of years ago now, when she was in the middle of her own pregnancy. And he thinks about how mpreg has become a weird part of his branding. And he lets out an actual little giggle when he remembers how horrifically Dan went into the placenta branding back in 2010.</p><p>Dan’s foot kicks into Phil’s calf at the giggle. A little, likely involuntary sign, that he heard the laughter. Out of view of the laptop open on their coffee table. Just for him. </p><p>“Are you gonna eat your placenta, Corn?” Phil asks, interrupting his brother going into detail about the mocktail he made tonight for their virtual hangout. </p><p>“What the fuck?” Dan laughs. Martyn and Corn or laughing too and Phil is trying to find out what station this train of thought is barreling towards.</p><p>“I just mean like… I know mums <i>do</i> sometimes,” he tries continuing among the laughter. “But what if— like, if I were to eat it then—”</p><p>“—Phil!” Dan shrieks. </p><p>“You’re not eating my placenta,” Corn says, half-horrified, “Foot, down. Not happening!” </p><p>“It’s not the last slice of pizza,” Martyn says with his head burried behind a throw pillow. “You can’t just say <i>if no one's gonna finish this, I will</i>!” </p><p>“I’m sorry for asking,” Phil laughs, “I just mean then would me and the baby have some <i>special</i> connection?” He tries a hand gesture which just ends with his hands tangled together. </p><p>Dan pushes him out of frame. “Your connection is special enough without adding any temporary organs into the mix,” he says. </p><p>They all try to remember what a single earlier topic had been, still booing Phil and stifling laughter. But once Corn catches her breath she does point to the screen and say in that softly stern voice of hers, “Seriously, you’re going to do fine with just the usual non-placenta connection to the baby.” She smiles, and Phil wishes he could actually hug her. “But if you ask to wear the umbilical cord as a necktie next, I will hang up.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thanks for reading— come say hi on <a href="http://yikesola.tumblr.com/post/636619711640190976/im-sorry-for-asking">tumblr</a> !</p></blockquote></div></div>
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